don't confess
by cerseilannisters
Summary: She was Jude  and he was Al, and he wasn't supposed to feel like she was the only girl in the world.


_**Don't Confess**_

_"Love is more afraid of change than destruction" -Friedrich Nietzsche_

* * *

_All I know is that I want to be next to you  
And right now there's room for the world  
So won't you stay  
Please say you'll stay_

_-Melissa Polinar_

* * *

_Jalbe._

Its what they've always been called. They weren't ever two separate people, always one in the same. Best friends until the end.

He can remember the first time he saw her. James and he had been walking home from the pond a ways down the lane; it'd almost been suppertime and Grandma Molly was visiting so they had to hurry. The sky was stormy, the air smelling sweet of rain.

"Come on Al!" James shouted running a head of him.

Albus caught up with his brother, shutting the gate behind him. At first he thought he'd seen a ghost, until he looked up again and realized it was a girl. She was a distance away, in the field blowing bubbles. He had never seen her before and wondered if she was new to Godrics Hallow.

"AL!" Upon James bellowing he paid her no more attention and instead followed his brother inside to greet their Grandmother.

**_I_**

The next morning was a rainy one. It poured from the sky, drowning the earth in its presense. Albus was sitting on the window sill reading, his room over looked the field, his favorite view. Looking up from his book, he blinked.

What was that?

_It couldn't be…_

Is it?

_No, that's silly…_

But it was…

Dancing in the field was the same little girl from yesterday. Dropping his book he quickly rushed from the room, downstairs to get his rain coat and boots on. What in the world was she doing?

Al had never seen anyone just dance in the rain. And in all honesty he wondered why she even _wanted_ to? The weather was dreary and the rain was cold and dancing wasn't ever anyfun anyways. But she just seemed different from anything he had ever seen. Like a spot of white in a room of black.

As he walked out to where she stood, he watched as she spun around, her head back, her mouth open catching the water droplets.

"What are you doing?" At the sound of his voice the girl startled, jumping back she looked over at him, utterly bewildered.

"….what are _you_ doing? " She retorted.

Albus blinked at her, studying the smaller child. Shrugging he held out his hand.

"Al Potter."

"Jude Price."

And from then on it had always been that way. Albus and Jude. Jude and Albus. Al&Jay. Jay&Al.

_Jalbe_.

* * *

He doesn't remember when it started, when he began to feel like no matter how much he tried, she completed him. Maybe it was because they were always together, or that people didn't even call them by their first names anymore.

It was only their second year at Hogwarts and already the two were something to be talked about. It probably didn't help that the two spent way more time then normal together.

But somewhere along the line, Al had realized that she was _forever_.

It made him sick because that wasn't how it was suppose to be. People don't just fall in love with their best friends. It just didn't happen.

(_Except it did_)

Ruffling his untidy black locks he sighed.

She was Jude (_and he was Al_), and he wasn't supposed to feel like she was the only girl in the world.

* * *

They were 14 when it first happened.

She had always been beautiful, with this long, wild, curly scarlet hair, and these big sapphire eyes. As soon as she walked into a room all eyes were directed to her, she was unlike anything anyone had seen.

All _**fierce**_ ambition & impossible _passion_, slyer than a fox and as cunning as they came, sharper than a hawk and more stubborn than a Mule, pure Gryffindor heart but more Slytherin then she knew, Jude was a force to be reckoned with.

She had been flirting with Samuel Nott, a Slytherin sixth year. He had never liked Sam. The guy had a notorious reputation for sleeping with girls and then breaking their hearts. But she was Jude and didn't care what anyone thought or said, she wanted what she wanted and she always got it.

There was suppose to be a party that night somewhere in the castle, it was exclusive and only the best and most popular were invited. Both James and Jude had been invited and left hours ago. Albus had tired sleeping but it wasn't happening, and didn't look like it would anytime soon. Sighing, he grabbed a book from his bedside table.

**_I_**

Hours later he was awaken to the sound of crying and Jude standing by his bed, nothing but a large emerald green nightshirt (_that wasn't hers_) over her small frame.

"Jude…?" He asked groggily.

She didn't say anything just lifted the covers of his blankets and crawled into bed next to him. Curling her body perfectly into his she snuggled her face into his bare chest. Sighing Albus felt her tears on his skin. His arms came around her, his face in her hair.

"You didn't sleep with him did you?"

She shakes her head her breathing slowing down as she spoke. "No…we just…fooled around and he tried to…but when I said stop he called me a…" Trailing off her tears came again but she didn't need to finish Al could guess what Samuel Nott had said.

Kissing her forhead he ran his fingers through her curls, Merlin this felt so good. His skin tingled with sensation as her hand cupped his cheek and she looked up at him her eyes shiney with tears.

"Thank you Al…" She whispered her lips crashing down on his passionately.

His heart beat wildy, his mind absolutely numb with love and need, Albus gave a low moan of approval turning them over so that his body rested comfortably on top of hers.

_This was all he had ever wanted. _

**_II_**

He awoke the next morning to an applaus and chouras of cheers. Rubbing his eyes his first thoughts were of Jude and last night. But as it regestered that she was no where to be seen and instead his roommates were smiling broadly congragulating him, a heavy feeling laid into his chest.

"Finally did it have you?" Noah Thomas says sitting at the end of his four poster.

Albus sat up rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, a cocky smirk becoming his lips.

Simon Niel laughs before Al can get a word in. "Oh they did it all right, they did it all night long…I could hear it all..." He muttered raising an eyebrow at the black haired teen.

Albus couldn't help his smirk from growing before replying "Piss off."

Noah laughed patting Albus on the shoulder. "Took you long enough mate, I was starting to think your balls shriviled up and you were becoming a unic."

The room burst into a fit of laughter, Albus punching Noah hard in the arm before looking toward where Jude had slept.

Where the fuck was she?

**_III_**

He finds her at breakfeast. Her scarlet hair tied back in a high ponytail with trendils of curls framming her beauiful face. Caught up in a story Rose is telling she_'_s mid laughter, a smile on her lovely face, her sapphire eyes bright and absorbed in whatever his cousin was saying.

As he approached her he felt all eyes go to him, their laughter dying on their lips.

"Morning …" Al had never been good at talking or interacting with people, he had always been the quiet one, while she was the strong out spoken one.

The girls gave him a brief acknowledgement before growing silent their eyes shifting back between Jude and himself. Jude cleared her throat senseing the tension as she stood up and excuesed herself grabbing her backpack she brushed by him without a single word.

"Jude wait..."

The hall is deserted just the two of them. And it that instant its like nothing else has ever mattered but this moment.

"Jude…" He reached out grabbing her hand, stopping her from moving forward.

She struggles against his grip, bitting her lip and flushing a lovey rosy pink.

"We need to talk, Jude."

She won_'_t look at him and maybe its because she_'_s embarrassed (_but he doubts it_), so he holds her hand tighter and drags her stubborn body toward his. Crushing her in a hug, his hands in her hair, his face soaking up her scent.

"Last night… "

Jude sighed shaking out of his grip. "What about it, Al? "

Blinking in surprise he stared at her. "I thought you- "

"Don't… " She whispered putting a finger to his lips. "Last night was last night; we lost our virginity to one another. No big deal. Its done and over now put it behind you. "

Gaping at her he couldn't think. Last night had been so perfect, she had been everything he ever dreamed of, her skin soft, her voice weak and needy. Everything that had happened, all his _'I love yous'_ had meant nothing to her…

"It meant nothing to you?"

She sighed crossing her arms as she shrugged. "It was one night, Al." was all she said before turning and leaving him there, dumbstruck with disappointment and pain.

**_IV_**

They didn't speak for a week. He was to angry (_or maybe she was to stubborn_), but for whatever reason as soon as their in the common room alone. She's climbing in his lap murmuring apologizes in his ear, her curls all askew, her eyes _brightbrightbright_ with everything she can_'_t say.

And he lets her because he_'_s missed her all too much (_more than he would ever tell her_).

* * *

That summer was a blur of scarlet hair, sapphire eyes, late night talks, early morning swims, afternoon Quidditch matches and her beautiful laughter.

Albus couldn't have dreamed a more perfect summer then the one him and Jude had shared.

Nothing had changed since their fith year had begun. She was still his best friend and he was still her_'_s, the two spent just as much time together as they had ever done. They ate together, walked to class together, studied together, he even went to all her Quidditch practices.

The pair were as inseperable as ever.

Until Jude had begun going out with Noah Thomas, it was sometime before Christmas Holiday and the pair were seen snogging at Scorpius Malfoy's pool party that summer. She_'_d told him it hadn't been anything serious, just fun because that was what she was looking for. Yet now…now everything was different.

Noah walked her to class; Noah sat next to her making her laugh (_and kissing her nose_) at dinner, her head is in Noah's lap while they lied in the common room, Noah is carrying her books in the library and to class.

He wonders why it hurts so damn much because they were never really anything in the first place (_except they were everything_), and she had made it clear to him that it would only ever be one night.

But then he remembers that she's Jude and he's Al, and their _Jalbe_. And he loves her more then he will ever actually say.

**_I_**

"She didn't tell you?" Rose inquired moving a strand of her unruly brown hair out of her eyes.

Al shook his head shrugging, his exterior was so calm but his heart was _poundingpoundingpounding_ and he felt dizzy with glee. Even though he shouldn't be so excited about his best friend breaking up with her boyfriend.

"When did she tell you?"

"This morning while I was braiding her hair." Rose muttered clicking the top of her pen.

Nodding he went back to Hogwarts a History not really reading it. His mind was racing with the possibilities. Did she finally realize that he was the one? Was it finally time for them to become the couple Jude And Al?

"Just be careful, Al."

Looking back up at Rose, he raised an eyebrow. "Worried about me cousin?"

She rolled her eyes giving him a very Aunt Hermione Esq. glare. "You know what I mean." It was the final word on the subject before they both turned to finish their homework.

**_II_**

It's not long until she comes to him, scarlet hair wild from Quidditch practice, sapphire eyes _ohsovery_ needy. She's a whirlwind of beautiful as she crashes into his dorm room and slams the door behind her.

He blinks rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he looks over at her. "Jude…?" Its 9am on a Saturday and Albus has always loved sleeping in.

Before he realizes what's happening, she's sliding herself against his naked chest, her hands roaming over every muscle of his. Her lips trailing kisses all down his neck and to his shoulders.

"Jude?" His voice is more urgent, as good as this felt, she had just broken up with her boyfriend.

Looking up at him she sighs. "Just kiss me."

Without another thought he obeys her, kissing her like a dying man needs water. Passionate, wild and sexy. Its everything he's ever dreamed of. And as he let's her take away all the pain he's harbored in the last few weeks, a small part of him is yelling to bloody stop.

**_III_**

She balanced atop him, his hand raking up her thigh, her head comfortably on his chest. He breathed her scent in adoring her smell and the feel of her body.

"I like this…" She murmured her fingers trailing paths along his forearm.

Raising an eyebrow at her his hand moving along her thigh.

"Do you want to..." The words were out of his mouth before he could begin to take them back but he trails off not sure whether or not to finish the sentence. He felt her shift ever so slightly as if considering the thought made her squirm.

"Like…this…just this…you just want to shag?"

Closing his eyes he damned himself to fucking hell for not being more specific. He didn't want to just shag her, he wanted her, he wanted everyday, he wanted forever. But he couldn't pass up the opportunity to be hers even just for a moment.

"Yeah," He replied kissing her forehead. "Definitely."

Feeling her smile Al couldn't help let his spirits lift.

"No rules, no dating, just this." She whispered as she sat up kissing him deeply, her hands in his hair, her mouth hot and needy.

He couldn't resist her, no matter how much he tried, his head told him one thing, his heart did another, and in any case being with Jude for just a moment was better then living in the moment with out her.

_Right? _

**_IV_**

"You can't honestly be jealous." She bit the top of her pen cap in that way she always did when she was annoyed.

Albus shrugged running a hand through his untidy black hair. It had been 3 months since their arrangement and already Albus could feel the magic of it all dwindling (_or it started when he found out she had been on a date with Simon Neil_).

"Al..." She started putting her potions book down and turning to him.

"If we are going to continue to do this, then you can't be jealous if I want to actually date someone."

The words cut at him like stepping on a piece of glass, straight to his heart. How did she expect him not to get jealous? They were sleeping together for Merlin's sake. Did Jude honestly think that this could go on without his jealousy coming into play somehow? And merlin know that just because he was a Gryffindor, he couldn't possibly feel _ohsovery_ Slytherin in that moment.

Drumming his fingers on the table rapidly in annoyance he bit his lip, knowing all of two things:

_1) He couldn't get Jealous._

_2) She meant way more to him than just this._

"Jude..." He started wanting her to know that she was so much more to him.

But she sighed cutting him off. "Promise me you won't get jealous."

He blinked looking at her seriously. He had yet again missed his chance; he had let her shove his feelings down his throat before he could even confess them. Letting silence fall over them Albus cursed silently. This was bloody ridiculous.

And yet he couldn't bring himself to say it. To say they needed to stop this charade because if he did, he would wind up losing her forever.

"Fine." He murmured throwing his head down onto the table.

Sneaking a glance at her, he saw the smile becoming her lips as she turned back to her essay. With out another word he slipped his head in her lap and closed his eyes.

_It would be a long day..._

* * *

It goes on well into their 6th year; he just _can't_ seem to give her up. Maybe its because he can_'_t live a moment without her or maybe its because the sex is too good. All he knows is that she's _everything_. With her in his arms and in his bed the world seems right (_because it is_).

So when she starts saying that she likes Bradley Zabini, he can't help feel jealousy stab him like a knife in the heart. It _eats_ at him until he feels like his head might explode.

Even if she ends up in his bed every night, during the day her affections turn elsewhere.

"He's an idiot."

Jude sighed shimmying into her skirt that had been so carelessly discarded in their passion.

"Al, don't." Her voice is weary as she stares at him, in just a skirt and her undergarments, Al couldn't help let his eyes undress her all over again.

He stared at her as if willing her to argue with him and when she doesn't he goes on.

"Why are you even flirting with him? He's a right arse."

She ignores the comment, slipping into her camisole easily. Its as if she doesn't even care about his opinion, like all these years have meant nothing to her. He can feel his temper flare at her stubbornness to see this situation the way he has. They've been friends for so long, hell they've been sleeping together for a year and 79 days (_not that he's been counting or anything_).

It means more (_because it is more_) and she can't just go on ignoring him.

"Jude." His voice is angrier then he meant it to sound but nonetheless it got her to look at him (_even is she looked like she would rather ignore him_).

"You're all I have and if you would just give me a bloody chance."

She stopped, her eyes closing as if the words pained her. "You said you wouldn't get jealous." Her voice was a plea of desperation.

"I can't not be jealous, Jude. And I'm sick of this. I'm sick of being second best; I don't want to just shag you. I don't want to feel like I only get to have you as long as we play by these rules…"

"Jude I-"

She silences him with her lips, her body coming to his, sitting in his lap (_like pieces of a puzzle that have long waited to be together_). Passionate and hard, and filled with everything she can't say. It's unlike any kiss they've ever shared and in an instant he feels the air change.

"I'm horrible at this, Al." She whispered against his lips.

Albus smiled his hands moving slowly up and down her back. "It doesn't matter."

Her fingers are laced in his untidy black hair, her lips gently kissing his as they spoke. "Albus, I'm-"

He cut her off, silencing her with his kiss. "Don't confess, Jude. Just say you'll stay."

There was no more talk instead she sent them tumbling back into his bed, kissing like mad as they slid under his blankets. She had finally given him a _chance_ to hold on and there was no way in hell he would ever let go.

Because he was Al and she was Jude and they were _Jalbe_.

(_And they finally deserved a happy ending…)_

* * *

_**A/N: This piece is again for misswhiteblack's nexgen challenge over at the HPFC forum and Cheeky Slytherin Lass's 131 Titles to Choose from over there as well. And dedicated to my lovely beta echoing noise because with out her I do not know where I would be. So for this being my first Albus Potter piece, I have to say that I did enjoy writing it and I adore the pairing because Jude is my favorite O.C.**_

_**But enough of my ramblings, please R&R and thank you for reading.**_


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